American parents tend to obsess over their children, and while it is good to take notice of a child’s presence, hovering over them could have a deleterious impact. Hovering parents do more than risk their sanity. They also risk the threat of raising a child that is prone to fit throwing, attention grabbing, and a demanding attitude. With just a few tears or a pout, children know their parents will come running without a second thought.
By the same notion, American moms and dads who visit France will often find that while their toddler is busy trying to run amuck, French toddlers are quietly playing by themselves while their parents laugh and talk without interruption. Such a scene may cause some head-scratching wonder and curiosity. Fortunately, the reality is that there is no big secret involved. All it takes is proper parenting support to teach parents why doing less enables children to learn more and adapt.
The Ability to Adjust
In various studies, it was discovered that infants raised by French parents tend to sleep through the night at a much younger age than American infants. Many American parents find themselves pacing the floor with a cranky baby at all hours of the night praying for some form of relief while French parents lay tucked away in their beds enjoying a sound sleep.
In truth, it is not because of any powerful sedative or black magic, but rather the child’s ability to adjust and self-sooth. French mothers love their children and spend time with them, but they do not hover or coddle. French infants learn to soothe themselves back to sleep rather than awaiting the immediate reaction of their over obsessive parents.
At the first sound of a whimper, most American moms jump out of bed and hit the ground running to answer the call of duty. Allowing children to cry, even just for a few moments, rather than responding immediately is healthy and allows the child to adapt so they can learn how to self-soothe. Although the French are not perfect by any means, their lives as parents seem far more comfortable and relaxed compared to American parents, which is something that can be achieved via parenting support.
Education Rather Than Punishment
When asked about punishment, French parents often correct the statement by providing answers about education. Misbehaved children who throw fits or demand their parents’ attention to no get spanked or scolded. Instead, French parents ignore such behaviors to show their disapproval, which then educates children on the proper way to behave if they are to receive a reward.
The French do not believe in instant gratification at all, which is something Americans seem to have adopted along the way. Unfortunately, such behaviors may damage a child’s ability to learn and evolve into a person that is capable of handling stress without some sort of reward system. The good news is, American parents can learn how to provide the same sense of love and caring without jumping at their child’s every request through parenting support options, such as therapy.
Supportive Parenting Therapy
Rather than stressing over a child that is prone to throwing tantrums or wreaking havoc during a sit-down dinner at a restaurant, I encourage parents to reach out to me for assistance with their parenting support needs. Together, we can create a plan that allows you to develop less of a hovering reaction to a child’s demands so that they may learn to adapt and provide their own source of soothing and entertainment.
A therapeutic approach allows parents like you to discuss the stresses of parenting. By opting to receive therapeutic parenting support, it is possible to develop new approaches and behaviors that are healthy for you, your child, and the relationship that you share with one another.
Monica Ramunda is a solution-focused online therapist with two office locations in Louisville and Capital Hill, Denver for in-office visits. With a Master’s degree in Counseling Psychology and more than 16 years of experience in therapy and counseling, Monica works as both a Licensed Professional Counselor (LPC) and Registered Play Therapist (RPT) with adults and children respectively. Much of Monica’s success is based on her eclectic orientation and drawing on a wide range of different approaches and techniques, all the while remaining strongly grounded in the principles of Cognitive Behavioral Techniques (CBT).