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Are Your Relationships Suffering Because of Your Phone?

No doubt our current technology is an amazing thing! Way back in what now seems like the stone age, we never imagined the freedom in technology we have these days. We see people while we talk on the phone or online. We transmit messages instantly and send at the touch of a button. Wow, who knew? May I add that energy makes this possible, but this blog post is not about energy, atoms, or even our personal chi. Although, I could go off on that tangent!

No, this blog post is about using technology wisely and how its misuse can give off the worst impression ever. I can already see your nod when I mention this. Its been said before and probably quite a few times from many different sources. Texting and scrolling through one’s phone while having lunch, a discussion, or spending time with someone is RUDE.

I’ve had this happen a few times in my recent years and even in my recent months. I’ve been invited to lunches, business connections, dinners, and just plain talked to people in line at the store where their nose never left their phones. I’ve really wanted to say something but only in one case really had the guts. I guess I should work on my tactful nerve. I’ve actually walked into restaurants and witnessed people having lunch and all of them texting on their phones. Why gather to begin with? I’ve sat with two other people eating while they both texted and spent most of their time on their phone. I wondered if we lunched at all. Maybe if I had on my high-powered business suit they might have been a bit more “polite”. Although, it should not matter what I was wearing. I still wonder if they even heard me at all.

Here is the real thought in question. Why spend time chatting with someone on your phone while a live person is right in front of you? Honestly, I think it is a new form of addiction. No one talks any more! It’s too easy to text, and I am guilty as charged when it comes to the ease of the text message. Yet, I never text at the table when I am with others and rarely text when I am with my significant other unless its important that I do so. Even then I excuse myself.

I feel like I have to fight for the right to be seen. Let me explain how it feels to be at a business lunch or casual lunch and people are texting during the whole lunch. It makes a person feel INVISIBLE and INVALUABLE. I don’t like to be rude and interrupt a person’s texting but I do feel that if someone has made the time to spend time with me, then that is what I should get; the other person’s undivided attention.

Are you consensual texting? If you are a married couple and can’t even watch a movie together without texting on your phones then, ah hem, you have a marriage problem. You might not think so but you do. If you have a friend you meet for lunch and you text the whole time, then you have no friendship there at all. You might have the illusion of friendship but you have nothing if you can’t spend time with that person uninterrupted.

I think I made a point to evaluate here. Are we willing to risk ruining our relationships over the technological age? It’s not that it is all bad. Remember, everything with discretion, moderation, and in balance. Repeat, “The Universe loves balance!” Also, “God loves relationship!” Yes, it is true we can have a full heart connection through technology and that is wonderful! I love the smiley faces and even the sad one’s to give the impression of emotion. At the sacrifice of someone who is right in front of us, this is not a good option though. No one wants to be anyone’s sacrificial lamb.

Honestly, I think the next time someone invites me to lunch and texts the whole time, I will ask for a clean plate, take the phone out of their hand, place it on the plate and tell them to have a nice lunch and leave. I’m a real strong advocate of how we teach people how to treat us. If they get away with being rude once they will do it again. We are all worth more than that. We are worth our weight in gold and then some!

Do a heart connection. Leave your phone in your purse or pocket. Better yet, spend time with someone and leave your phone at home. Do we even dare try that one? If you can’t leave your phone at home, you might have a phone addiction problem. Hmm, much to ponder.

Loving you from here!

Dr. Jenine Marie Howry

Jenine Marie Coaching and Ministries LLC